Dreams of Darkness

I'm going to try and post more about my life. So...

My mother has major depression. She's had it for most of her life.

The depression causes her to be paranoid. On bad days, she catches fragments of other people's conversations and assumes they are talking about her in a negative way. Even the most innocent conversation of strangers becomes a fragmented dagger to her. Maybe she'll overhear conversation about spiders and later replay it in her mind. Only this time the overheard conversation involved comparing her to a disgusting spider.

These imagined conversations make her even more depressed and cause a constant state of low self-esteem.

It's hard for her to make decisions on good days because she doubts herself.

My sisters and I were (and still are) Mom's life line. My aunt (her sister) is Mom's anchor.

The depression is only one facet of my mother.

She is also a kind person who loves animals. She enjoys taking nature hikes. Mom loves to write cheesy romance in the hope that it will someday be published. She's always there for a hug or a pat on the back.

Sometimes she was all that kept us afloat when I was little. If my aunt was the anchor, mom was the buoy.