Hours later, I turned the computer on. It booted fine until the Windows loading screen; the Windows symbol was mysteriously absent. I waited for the log-on screen to appear. Nothing happened. There was nothing but a black screen with a white cursor. Shortcuts did nothing. No Task Manager, no right-click menu. Nothing, and I'm worried.
Still seems moderately fixable, no problem. Windows Updates has a reputation for destroying the lives of innocent young computers everywhere .
Behold, lifesaver System Restore.
Except not. Because according to my computer, I had no restore points. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I had restore turned on (this is not the first time I've fixed my computer with it). I had restore points. What corruption is this?
I tried Last Known Good Configuration. Doesn't work. Apparently it only judges 'Good' until the log-on screen. Desperation set in.
Computer CPR was needed, Stat. I tried:
-Last Known Good Configuration
-Safe Mode with Networking
-Boot Options (was it screwed up? No, all was as it should be.)
-Windows Help Articles
-Google Fu (Apparently this a common problem that there are a myriad of 'help' articles out there. Different causes and fixes.)
-Windows Tech Help (*On hold for a length of time* *Transfers* *Hold* "Did you try all the things on this list? Really? Repeat them again. Still nothing? Do a clean install and lose some your data. PROBLEM SOLVED. Oh? You'd rather not do that? You have no way of making a back-up while poor? You want to make sure nothing goes wrong and you keep your data? What for?" *annoyed sigh goes here* "Let me put you on hold...." *I ended the call*)
I'm pretty sure no virus was involved. I have frequently updated virus protection, but who knows. So on to recovering data and doing a clean install. Yippee.